UNTITLED
What is it about Fall that I love?
Why do falling and dying leaves Leave me refreshed?
Is it the lowering temperatures? The colors?
Is it the shortness of life and the contrast of death that fills me wit the ever-present moment?
The sense that I must live today, now for I, too, am temporary? I, too, will fall to my grave one day.
Or is it the stripping away? The falling away of complexity.…The stripping down to the basics once a year.
Or is it the change? Is it the break from growing.
The dormancy thatr breaks the monotony of always changing from growing?
Or perhaps the promise of a winter of sameness without continual change?
It's the beginning of a stop.
SEASONS
We are integrated,
Growing in many different directions.
We're myriad.
We're variegated.
We're real.
We feel true things and false things that steal.
We're right and we're wrong. But we grow on.
We become what each other need, Or we isolate in gnarled pain.
We grow away from what hurts. We grow toward what works.
We split from one another only to become closer.
Like leaders who need more space, we separate. We want the same thing. More light. More energy, to thrive.
I'm gritting my teeth now and I do that when I'm stressed. What was I thinking about? What put me in that mess?
Now an ant crawled up my pants. Got him off.…Where was I?
I was thinking about life and family and fears.
Life for my parents is not what I expected it to be over the past few years.
Yet a worse pain than the physical is the death of hope and hope they have.
Hope remains and there's enough for them so, too, can I have hope.
When you have nothing and you have no one, even then, God will send ravens.
HAUNTED
My mind is hounded by so much disruption whenever I try to take in beauty.
It doesn't seem to be enough for me to be here, be now, just be.
My mind is always busy.
I'm buzzing, I'm hearing, I'm worried. I'm planning. I'm solving, I'm judging. I'm hurt.
But now I stop. Oommmmmm…I hear footsteps. Oommmmmm…The wind picks up…It pushes my paper against my pen.
Silence is golden here outside the city where I live in the nitty gritty.
I'm here to produce not contemplate.
And love.
I have time for none of the above.
Efficiency and productivity are prized in a man.
But what if I checked out? What if I lived off the land?
Sure, without work, I will starve.
But aren't I eating too much?
And birds eat free.
All this running, running, running is it necessary?
What about just being with each other?
Gotta make a buck. Gotta kill a tree.
Gotta make a somethin' of yourself. In the land of the free.
What if I check out and lived in a tent?
How would people treat me if I didn't pay rent?
Is respect something I must get from others?
Or something from within that I give myself?
What if I march to a different drummer?
I'm tired of the fears and yet I still want my mother.
Or maybe what I want is deep relationships so I hunger for the most familiar one.